Custom of Life(2)
The maternal uncle raising hell on the wedding
As the famous Galug love song goes: “ The sun would never be blotted out even the mountains in the northeast are high; Young people would not be discouraged from finding a partner even their parents strongly object”. Young people of Moinba ethnic group feel free to love and to be loved, and their parents usually do not prevent them from finding their love. Generally, if two young people fall in love with each other, either the girl’s or the young man’s parents will send for a matchmaker to arrange for the marriage. The betrothal gifts from the bridegroom to the bride’s family are considered necessary in the wedding.
The maternal uncle of the bride is the most honorific figure at the wedding. This is a reflection of ancient matriarchal practice in the culture. In this ancient family system, a family was controlled by the mother rather than by the father. The oldest brother in a family was the guardian of his sisters and her family. Although these matriarchal practices seem obsolete nowadays, the role of the oldest brother of the mother, i.e. the bride’s uncle, remains same. There's still a popular phrase: “In heaven there is the god of thunder; on earth there is the maternal uncle”. Because of this tradition, the uncle is the most respected guest at the wedding. Everyone on the groom side makes great effort to please him.
As soon as the maternal uncle arrives, representative on the groom side should present the Hada with sincere respect. Then the uncle will be seated at the wedding feast. A lot of courses will be served to him. Dishes made from the heads, tails, ears, hearts, lungs and livers of buffalo, pig and sheep are indispensable. The uncle, who seems very difficult to please, will say something fastidious on purpose to create difficulties for everyone on the groom’s side: why is the meat so cold? Why is the wine so hot? Why are you so indifferent to me? Why don’t you serve enough food on the table first? Is my attitude not polite enough? Is my dear niece not as good as you expect? The uncle tries his best to act “angrily”, showing he is the spokesman of the bride and the most honorable guest in the wedding.
Certainly, the groom and people on his side will try their best to please the maternal uncle. For instance, they present hada to show their respect, money to show their wealth, and presents to show their friendship. In addition, they will try hard to say as many polite and pleasant words as possible to praise the bride as well as the maternal uncle. The uncle, feeling content to his hearts, will allow the groom to marry his niece in the end. Actually, we can imagine that no uncles today stand in the way of their nieces' marriages. The uncle, putting on a peremptory yet humorous show, actually adds even more fun to the wedding ceremony. Maybe that’s why “uncle on the mother's side raising hell on the wedding” is still in existence as part of their folkway.